Casual Friday; casual racism

For the most part I like my coworkers but I often think they're maybe racist? Or something! They might just be those white people who say stuff that's offensive (sometimes vague; sometimes with a fairly hard edge) and anyone who is offended should *calm down* and *lighten up.* Does that a racist make? One of our interns mentioned how she had a terrible literature teacher in high school--the intern grew up in northern China. My white coworker expressed surprise. "You talked about him behind his back?" "Yes of course we did!" "Isn't that...." pause pause "Isn't that disrespectful? Like it goes against Confucianism values?" I rolled my eyes in a big way and he defended himself saying we're all friends now so he doesn't have to worry about the stuff he says around her. Rock solid, bro.

The agency's staff  retreat last spring featured a heavy emphasis on diversity in the workplace and how to recognize and avoid micro aggressions, casual racism, etc etc. The folks who came to speak to us about it were smart and nice and had some great stuff to say, but they were also dripping sticky sweet with sincerity and that always makes for an easy target. I admit it was a bit heavy handed at times but my other (white) (duh) coworkers were positively exasperated. "What, are they just trying to make us feel guilty?" "This is a colossal waste of my time." "It doesn't help anyone to be that politically correct, Jesus."

A few of us went out afterwards and near the end of the night when we'd all had a few drinks, when lips get loose and people start to feel a little too comfortable when they probably shouldn't, when they really have no right to, someone mentioned how she thought a manager got her own office solely because she is black. I guess that's what she came away with after all that diversity babble. I made only a half-hearted defense of the manager and left the bar wishing I'd said more. Was I so weary of these people and their words that I didn't bother to argue with her? Was my acquiescence just as harmful as if I'd agreed?